What you say and how you say it

In one of my past professional experiences, I thought project managers were not interested in the platform I managed. They seem to only show excitement for the progress made on other platforms and to reach out to me only when something was broken.

I got so bitter with what I saw that I started to be more vocal about everything that was wrong and needed to be changed. Over time, I became tense and started updating stakeholders as little as possible in an attempt to test how little they cared. Obviously, nothing changed.

When I delivered my resignation letter, my manager told me he found it very difficult to work with me because I was always bitter and “emotionless like a wall”. I was surprised! I had been raising all the issues over and over again, and nobody seemed to care. In my eyes, I was trying to push for change by speaking the truth.

But with time, I came to understand his perspective. Despite being right a lot of times, the way I expressed myself only harmed my credibility and led to my isolation. In the end, I lost valuable professional relationships, while the project and the company continued without me.

Most times, the problem is not what we say. It’s how we say it.